Archive for August, 2008


Ahmed Faraz (14.01.1931 – 25.08.2008)

Dard-e-dil, paas-e-wafa, jazba-e-imaan hona
Aadmiat hai yahi aur yahi insaan hona

Zindagi kya hai anaasir mein zahoor-e-tarteeb
Maut kya hai inheen ajzaa ka pareishaan hona

Rest in peace, Ahmed Faraz.  Your words stay with us and you will be missed!


Seeking Solitude

I’m looking for quiet within myself…

All the noise outside doesn’t matter but the chaos within is enough to drive me mad!!

Damn!! I want this research paper over and done with!!

D-day tomorrow….


I Have Sunday Night Blues….

Am perpetually tired…  My eyes are burning and there is a constant ache right between my shoulder blades.  It’s probably stress.  I have my research paper submission on the 9th and my draft is about oh zero percent complete.  I hate writing the damn thing…  Honestly, tell me to speak about it or make a presentation and I could go on for hours.  Writing it down is a bitch…  All my verbosity goes up in smoke…  Even when I do write something, am assailed on all sides with doubts about the quality of work and keep feeling that it’s coming up short…  Not quite the quality of work that I can do…  To top it all of, am blessed with a supervisor who actually said the following statement about me:

“You know, I’m not so worried about your paper at all.  Even if you prepare a sub standard paper, your communication skills are so good that once your presentation is done, you will have no issues in the defence.”

Sigh!!  Any motivation I had for working effectively went down the drain…

To top things off, I so need time and space to myself even if it’s only to hit my head against the wall…  Only I find my plans for solitude thwarted by a six foot phenomenon I affectionately refer to as my buddy…  Gah!!  And I thought I was stubborn…  Sheesh!!  His stubbornness makes me look like an absolute angel…  Another strange thought, he is so affecting my habits…  Spent the weekend dozing till past 10am well knowing that I get migraines if I over sleep ever!!!  This was despite the fact that I was asleep at 11pm both nights…  Today, the genius was yawning and stretching cat like even while sitting in the car before I dropped him off at sports practice..  I was half asleep by the time I got home!!  Result:  My proposed study hours of between 6 to 8 got converted into nap time…  And now in addition to feeling all achy and tired that comes with sleeping at odd hours, have another ding a ling of a headache coming on…

I’m going to have a brilliant start to my Monday!!


Sleep deprived…


Sleepless with eyes burning and an ache within…

It was nothing major… Just a few stolen moments of slumber while he held me… Maybe not even 5 minutes…

The next night, all I had to lull me to sleep was perhaps a lingering scent of him on the pillow. It brought me comfort; a false sense of belonging; of being ‘not alone’.

Today, even that has been washed away in the swirl of soap and water and the thrumming of the washing machine and I can’t sleep…

August 2008