Archive for November, 2007

30
Nov
07

Summarizing…

The first rain of winter has left me blued and flued which in my current state of being swamped with things to do is so not what I wanted.  I love the rain.  The way the sky changes colour, the scent of winter in the air…  It always soothes me…  Today it left me with the incomprehensible urge to weep even as the heavens rained down…

Have spent the last two days being poked, prodded and peeked at by people in white coats.  If that wasn’t enough had to undergo the awkwardness that goes with being injected and having blood drawn and tested.  All this has only reminded me how much I absolutely hate dealing with doctors…  (Yes!  I know they are people too!).  Have a very bad feeling will have to disclose visits to doc to mama dearest…  Had been avoiding that so far since mama is an expert at stressing and she has enough on her plate with papa leaving for Hajj Insha’allah next week and issues with her sister but me thinks all is not right in my world right now and disclosure would be better.

My research paper is now hanging over my head while I splash about in the sea of papers, notes and miscellaneous trash trying to figure out where to start writing it.  The interviews are more or less done with although do have another meeting on Monday but sitting down and then putting words to paper when it’s academics and not a story is not as easy I would expect it to be.

Spent yesterday evening at the neighbours.  Not that my ex-crush was there but had been fielding off invitations to visit by the parents for the last couple of months.  It was an interesting couple of hours with honest to goodness sweet people (stirred the desire in me to have them for in-laws :-p) where I was regaled with tales of their family history, their coming to Pakistan and their only son.  Had a wonderful dinner with the dear old things going all out offering me one thing and then another even while they interrogated me quite thoroughly.  The closing of the dinner was most interesting though.  Strong Turkish coffee served with Turkish Delight (Psyched!  A-hem!  Do not even go there!) in these wonderful little coffee cups and saucers.   Tradition holds that once the coffee has been drunk, the cup is turned over in the saucer and the swills, swirls and patterns apparently can tell your future.  His mother and I had an entertaining time trying to explain our interpretations of what my coffee said using a little English, a lot of sign language and even more laughter while his father who knows English fluently decided to stay out of the conversation itself and proceeded to look most amused at our antics.

Weekend tomorrow, thank goodness!  I just want to pull the blanket up over my head and sleep the day away!  Although, do need to seriously think about starting my write up on Sunday.  Also, have just realized approaching deadlines for admissions and my utter lack of preparation in terms of getting hoards of documents attested, verified and what not!

This procrastination is going to be the death of me!

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27
Nov
07

Letter 3…

Dear God,

Am I lost?  Or have I lost it?

I keep thinking the world is worth losing…

Tell you a secret?  I’m really scared I’m losing you…

I miss you!

26
Nov
07

Just One More Time…

Come to me,

In a dream if you will.

Bring a half forgotten touch of your hand on mine;

The echo of a soft laugh in the dark of the night;

And the memory of a gentle kiss…

You see, ’tis all I need any more.

Shades of you,

In the shadow of the life I live.

25
Nov
07

Wedding Aggravations!!

After attending a double wedding and making trips from Islamabad to Kohat to Peshawar to Kohat to Peshawar to Islamabad in three days with prospects of reliving every moment of these past 3 days for the next week or so, my mood is completely euphoric!!

And if you took that statement at face value, you’ve not quite been enrolled in the academy of life for too long and may God preserve you from it!

I have met people who moan about a lack of relatives and extended family.  Yet, at every gathering that has me greeting droves of people who’re connected to me from generations, I swear I come away thinking if I never meet some of them again, it will be way too soon!

I have no other issues with them except that they have a sworn duty to uphold of reminding me of my greatest failure (in their opinion) in getting married and producing the certificate of marriage in the form of a baby 9 months to the day.  And then they compound and further this discussion in front of my mother.  Mothers, who everybody knows are made of different stuff than the rest of us and tend to take things differently.

I just don’t get it!  It has nothing to do with them.  And it’s not as if I am in line for their oh so eligible sons!  Ugh!  Perish the thought!  I don’t live in their house, don’t eat from their tables and sure as hell don’t go boohooing in front of them ‘coz I don’t have a husband to accessorise at weddings and a baby to dress in colour coordinated outfits!

What is their issue in looking at me as if I’m abnormal?  So, I’m not married!  Does that make my life incomplete?  Or has it now been deemed that I so absolutely cannot be content with my lot and satisfied in my life as it is?

Apparently, I need to get my head looked at!   Sheeesshhhh!!!

22
Nov
07

Letter 2…

Dear God,

I fell again today.  My hands are bleeding and my knees are scraped raw.  There is dust in my face and in my hair.

It hurts…

I miss you…

21
Nov
07

Jab ‘Me’ Met

Quandary!!  What does this mean?

Professor to Me:  “I was watching Jab We Met last night and was reminded of you…”

How complimentary is it when your professor tells you that he was reminded of you while watching ‘Jab We Met’ when the only impressions that stayed with you of the movie when you watched it was how talkative Kareena Kapoor’s character was?

YIKES!!

20
Nov
07

Letter 1…

Dear God,

When did simply feeling happy become so hard?

I miss you…

Unforgiven Me!




November 2007
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