Archive for October, 2011


October 24th 2011 – Power of 2

2 Lies

  • When some one says sorry and I say it’s okay.
  • When I tell IQ that I don’t know what to do.
2 Truths
  • I may act weak and snivel about my lack of choice, but when it comes down to the line, I am strong enough to take a decision.
  • I don’t forgive and I don’t forget.
2 Dreams
  • A place of my own; somewhere a little corner that is just mine.
  • To write that one great epic; a masterpiece.
2 Failures
  • Not standing up for myself when I most needed to.
  • Feeling that I haven’t done enough.
2 Loves
  • Mama, Papa
  • Books

Oct 19 – 22 2011 – What I am Pessimistic About…

“To put the world in order, we must first put the nation in order; to put the nation in order, we must put the family in order; to put the family in order, we must cultivate our personal life; and to cultivate our personal life, we must first set our hearts right.”

– Confucius-

And I fear that this will not come to be.  What can one expect from a nation that rejoices on a holiday announced to mourn the demise of a former first lady?  She was a woman first, lets not forget who lost a husband, and 3 of her 4 children and died virtually unaware of the people and situation around her.  But I digress…

Where is this country going or do I ask where we are allowing it to go?  Are we so powerless and ineffectual with all our education and so called awareness?  Will our children’s children know “Pakistan” or its history or its miracles or will they shy away from their identity as we have started doing and only be forced to defend themselves against calls of terrorism and corruption?  Kya hum kabhi dekhein ge…?


October 18th 2011 – What I Believe In

I am Blessed!


October 17th 2011 – Sisterhood

In my point of view, my younger sister probably has more cause to resent me than anyone else.  My parents gave her to my aunt and uncle when she was 6 days old and she lives with them to this day.  We grew up closer than sisters, the best of friends, pussyfooting and being deaf to the stage whispers that surrounded us on who she was.  Some part of us knew and yet we felt afraid of saying it out loud.  Perhaps we thought our friendship would change if we ever admitted we knew that she was my mother’s daughter…


October 16th 2011 – Describe a Childhood Birthday

Cake, balloons and lots of kids going crazy!  My birthdays were insane and probably among the most awaited events in the calenders of all my friends.

The funnest part of remembering childhood birthdays for me is that my brother and I used to celebrate our birthdays three times a year!

Party number one, on the day itself, an evening affair with a heavy duty tea with cousins and family.  Friends weren’t invited because my December birthday usually came around exam season.

Party number two, a combined formal, all out birthday party with my younger brother (born in January) just before the start of the school year.  Around 40 kids used my parents front lawn, and drawing room as an all out fun fiesta.  I think mardi gras is peaceful compared to the noise that we used to generate.  My father likes to still remind us to be thankful that we were in Pakistan or we’d find ourselves arrested for disturbing the peace!  Those parties were immense and unbelievable fun!  An unholy number of planned and unplanned games that eventually used to take us running around the entire block or house, whichever we thought had more potential to be painted red.  Two cakes and a dining table groaning with the weight of yum yums galore.  Only my parents could have the strength to keep doing that well till my 16th birthday.

And then a third birthday in school to include those unfortunate “boys” who were not invited to my all girl bash! 😀  Aaaahhh… Such satisfaction mean little me used to get when I initially used to hand out invitations with detailed descriptions of what my party will have in front of them.  And of course, a lunch at school with my parents bringing cake and snacks was such a self satisfying moment in itself.

My birthdays were amazing…  The people who made my birthdays so amazing are all far away now, settled in their lives, some abroad, some here but I can recall each of them every time I hear a birthday song off-key!


October 13th 2011 – Unfinished Business

“I think about how there are certain people who come into your life and leave a mark. I don’t mean the usual faint impression… And I don’t just mean they change you. A lot of people can change you – … It’s the change you remember, the firsts and what they meant, not really the people.

… I’m talking about the ones who, for whatever reason, are as much a part of you as your own soul. Their place in your heart is tender; a bruise of longing, a pulse of unfinished business… Just hearing their names pushes and pulls at you in a hundred ways, and when you try to define those hundred ways, describe them even to yourself, words are useless. If you had a lifetime to talk, there would still be things left unsaid.”

Sweethearts – Sara Zarr


October 12th 2011 – A New Beginning

How do I write of a new beginning when I admitted out loud today that I am still standing where I was four years ago?

October 2011