Finding You…

Life seems to have been one quest or the other.  Running between two mountains, my feet torn; my breath short and burning me inside.  I spend an eternity running up one looking for you..

You?  Love, friendship?  Or just the feeling of knowing there is someone there who will be my world with a smile.

And then stumbling down the jagged surface with my hands raw and bleeding and tears in my heart, after finding myself pelted by the stones of my own expectations and the reality of other people, at least as imperfect as me.

And I flinch from the sight and turn to look at the other end.  You?  Maybe?

Untenable majesty, silent, strong and yet no easier to scale and so I stumble again, over paths strewn with thorns; or washed away by torrents of fast flowing water, leaning now and again against one surface or the other…  I don’t think I ever realized how on this tougher, less traveled path, I found unexpected places to rest, to breathe; the gentlest of winds to soothe my fevered brow or gentle knolls of grass to cook my feet on.

But I’d find myself being called again to the other mountain and I’d run searching for arms to hold me at the end of weary travels…  Except that I’d be more exhausted, drained further each time to get up and take another step and I’d more fall than walk back to the other mountain…

Looking for solace of the soul, an unworldly phenomenon in the frailty and fickleness of human nature and fallacy and then repenting and falling back to search for comfort in the one being who owns it all…

I’m realizing today that even for worldly comfort, I need to scale just that one mountain…  The other will come to me…

And when I find Him, I will find You…


1 Response to “Finding You…”

  1. 1 Winter Song
    Thursday, January 5, 2012 at 4:12

    “Hum mann ke dariya mein doobay,
    Kaisi nayya, kya manjhdaar?”

    And to quote Maulana Rumi, “The minute I heard my first love story I started looking for you, not knowing how blind that was. Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere. They’re in each other all along.”

    Great insight into your mind…..how amazingly all of us bear the same scars, borne of similar struggles!

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