Archive for June 17th, 2009


Of Senses, No. 1

She hated this feeling of nothingness that wasn’t quite nothing…  It was a great yawning, gaping emptiness inside that she could physically feel.  She had gone into it knowing all the NOs that would echo around, thinking she could handle it, keep her distance. After all, she had been burned before and yet, she was here again, waiting an endless wait…

The cold and fear and insecurity still crept through, raising goosebumps on the arms she had wrapped around herself.  The breeze coming through the window caught her hair and sprayed the rain on her face.  Her eyes weren’t on the lightening that lit the sky just as her ears were deaf to the rumble of thunder.

She saw only those leonine eyes smiling before his lips did as he watched her, she could hear only the muted sound of his heart as it beat next to her, she could only feel the warmth of him wrapped around her as he held her in his arms.  How to explain the feel of it?  It’s not the physical sense of him that she missed although she would be lying if that wasn’t a part of it…  There were things associated with the strength of him and that golden skin that were so much more potent in their absence…  things that went beyond what he looked or felt like.

It was warmth and heat and scents…  mysterious…  associations…  like walking though narrow cobbled streets of a small town in the Meditteranean in the heat of summer where the smell of the surf and sun mingles with the aroma of fresh summer fruits…  or the shadowy streets in Arab where dark skinned peddlars sell sultry, dreamy spices that carry undertones of magic…

It was that scent of deodrant and shaving cream; and dust and sweat and below that something essentially him that made him burrow into him when he held her (oh how he laughed when she did that)…  It lingered in her hair, on her skin along after he had gone…  Her fingers tingled with the sense of him.  The scent that drove her to smother her face in the pillow for hours at a time…

June 2009