02
May
09

For the Love of Parents?

To say that I am stunned at the depths that children sink to today, would be an understatement.  No matter what the conflicts with one’s parents, surely one needs to consider that they are parents and deserve respect.  

To be told, that a father and son disagreement gets to the point where a 33 year old son actually gives an application to the police station, nominating his parents as the primary perpetrators of his grievance is disgusting.  How can you do this?  To imagine an old couple in their sixties forced to pack up their belongings in a bag and walk out of a house where their son lives in the darkness of the night to maintain some semblance of respect and dignity?  Yet, I wonder what dignity is preserved when they would have gone to their brother’s place at that hour?  What would they have said?  And leaving that aside, what must they be feeling?  The heartache?  This is who they gave life to?  I always believed that children never really grow up for their parents.  The agony of being made to realize that this is what their worth is to their child must be so unbearable.

Parents give their all for their children.  They disregard all morals, all rights, abdicate their own pleasures for the sake of the one they give birth to…

And in our world today, this is what they get.  As with everything else between our lives and our faith, the teachings below also lie in tatters around us along with any claim we may have to being worthy of Allah’s blessings.  

RIGHTS 

Allah  is our Creator and  it was through our parents that He created  us. This is the reason why He has given so many rights to the parents. It is stated, “Allah has ordered that do not worship anyone but Him and be dutiful towards your parents.” 

OBEDIENCE 

Hazrat ibn Abbas  narrates from the Prophet  that a person whose parents are alive and he obeys them, listens to and respects them, then Allah will open two doors of paradise for him. But if one of his parents is not happy with him, then Allah will not be happy with him either. Then someone asked the Prophet , “Even if they are oppressors?” The Prophet  replied, “Yes, even if they are oppressors.” 

DISRESPECT 

It is said, a person who disobeys his parents, or disrespects them and does not listen to them, Allah will open two doors of hell for him. And if he disrespects only one of them, then Allah will only open one door of hell for him. 

VIRTUES 

Helping your parents is better then performing Jihad. Abdullah ibn Umar  narrates that a person came to the Prophet and said, “I have intentions of going on Jihad.” The Prophet  asked him, ‘Are any of your parents alive?’ He replied, ‘Yes.’ The Prophet  said, ‘Do Jihad by helping your parents.’ From this we can gather how important parents really are.TOP

STORY 

A man came to the Prophet  and asked him, ‘My mother is very old. I feed her with my hands and I help her do ablution and I sit her down on my shoulders. Have I done enough to repay her for the things she has done for me?’ The Prophet  said, ‘No. You have not even repaid he a bit. But Allah will give you a small amount of deeds for what you have done.’ Such is the value and status of a mother and this is because nothing can compensate for the chores she has born for her child since pregnancy to his upbringing. 

STATUS 

Bahys ibn Hakim said that he heard from his grandfather, that he had asked the Prophet , ‘Who should I do a good turn?’ The Prophet replied, ‘Your mother.’ His grandfather once more asked the Prophet , ‘Who shall I do a good turn?’ The Prophet  said, ‘Your mother.’ His grandfather repeated the question a third time. The Prophet  said, ‘Your mother.’ After repeating the  question for the fourth time, the Prophet replied, ‘Then your father and then in order, your relatives.’ 

IMPORTANCE 

Hadhrat ibn Abbas  said, ‘At the time of the Prophet , there was a young man named Alkamah. He used to work very hard and give his earnings to charity. One day he became very ill. His wife sent a message to the Prophet . The Prophet  sent Bilal , Ali , Suleman  and Amar  with these words, ‘See how he is.’ They went and found that he was indeed very ill and close to death. They spent some time trying to make him read the Kalimah, but something was holding him back. Hazrat Bilal   returned to tell the Prophet  about his condition. The Prophet  asked, ‘Are his parents alive?’ Bilal  replied, ‘His father has passed away, but his mother is still alive.’ The Prophet  told Bilal  to call his mother and if she couldn’t come then the Prophet  would come to her. As soon as Alkamah’s mother heard, she grabbed her walking stick and came right away. She did Salaam and the Prophet  returned it and asked, ‘Tell me truthfully, if you don’t, then I will learn by revelation. What sort of deeds did your son do?’ She told the Prophet  that he was a very pious man, that he used to read prayers consistently, fast constantly and give alms abundantly. The Prophetasked her how he was with her. She said, ‘I am upset with him. Instead of me, he gives preference to his wife. He used to disobey me and listened to his wife. The Prophet  said to her, ‘Your displeasure has stopped Alkamah from reciting the Kalimah.’ The Prophet  then ordered his Companions to gather some wood and to burn him. The mother asked whether they were really going to burn her son in front of her? The Prophet  told her, ‘Allah’s punishment is much greater. If you want Allah to forgive Alkamah, you must first forgive him yourself. His praying, fasting and alms-giving will do him no good.’ His mother raised her hands and said, ‘I have forgiven him.’ The Prophet  sent Bilal  to check on Alkamahh. He was reading the Kalimah. Alkamahh died that very day. The Prophet  arranged his funeral and led his Janazah. After that he stood up and addressed the people. ‘The person who prefers his wife rather then his mother, Allah’s curse be upon him. His faraaidh and nawafil will not be accepted.’ 

Quoted from: “Rights of Parents

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