16
Mar
09

Insomnia

For a while she just lay there.  Her eyes open wide, trying to calm herself, taking rapid breaths of air with a hand over her mouth lest he awoke.  Not that she was afraid of him.  He knew of her nightmares.  He would spend hours holding her till the trembling was gone, talking to her about nothing much, trying to calm her down till she slept again (or pretended to anyway).  But he worried and fussed and questioned to find out why.  And when she wouldn’t be able to answer him,  he would associate their return with something he had done…

She rolled away from him and went to stand by the window.  Like so many other nights.   She would been standing there for hours it seemed…  A lifetime maybe…  In the cold window frame misting over with her own breath, she could see all that had been…

Some she blamed on others but there were so many moments which she knew could have ended differently had she but…

Raised a hand up to stop…  Or said maybe just one word.  

And today had just added to one of those moments.

Except that she had said one word… and not just once…

How was it then, that like all those other moments, she was awake wrestling in a court of a thousand stars and one dark night…

And he lay there behind her, as peacefully asleep as always.

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