Archive for December 11th, 2007

11
Dec
07

The Consequences of Stupidity!!

For the past twenty four hours, I have been repeatedly hitting my head with various objects from the flat of my hand, to the steering wheel of my car, to the surface of my desk and all the proverbial walls, stones and rocks that came in the way. The past twenty four hours have proven to me, that when it comes to doing the most unbelievably stupid things, I proudly don the mantle of the Queen Bee.

Imagine years ago, being foolish enough to be the scape goat for a friend while she went canoodling or woodling with her selected beau. You know the scapegoat?

“Hey mom, I’m going to Sarah’s place! Will be back soon!” And conveniently slipping into the car at the gate after saying a quick hello/goodbye to my mom, saying her brother’s picking her up.

And we are speaking of pre-mobile telecommunication times so inaccessibility could be acceptable. Anyhow, also imagine that you can’t stand the guy as in hate him with a vengeance which would have you tear him up into teeny tiny bits with a smile on your face! This was to the extent that you offered prayers of thanks when the relationship crashed onto the rocks even while offering your friend the box of tissues.

Fast forward a few years to a situation at the bank where the staff in all its helpful courtesy is slowly and surely pushing you to the point of wrenching your hair out of its elegant French pleat and stamping your foot like a petulant three year old. Has anybody else noticed how excessively unhelpful bank staff is when you actually want something to get done ‘urgently’? Anyway, in this scenario where five-sixths of your mind is occupied with how to explain to these people what you want, imagine hearing hoarse tones saying:

“Oh hello Sarah… It is so good to see you!”

The frown on my face would have cracked stone but he doesn’t even flinch as I said “Excuse Me?”

“Oh you don’t remember me. Heehee! We just met once or twice. I’m XYZ… I was friends with A!”

“Oh!” (Can’t you just see the dawning expression of absolute joy in my face?)

“So how have you been? I’ve seen you come in on a number of occasions but you always look like you’re in such a hurry! Heehee!”

“And what let you know that I have a lot of time on my hands right now?”

“Heehee! A always used to say you are a very jokey person!”

And it went on for what seemed like forever, because after a while I just tuned out which turned to be my downfall. Somewhere in the midst of this conversation, the documents I needed were finally provided and I was checking and rechecking to make sure I had everything. It’s all a little hazy except when I was snapped back into reality at the horrifying sound of my own voice reciting my mobile number on auto play back!

AAARRRRGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Since that most devastating disclosure, I have been inundated by phone calls and messages by the married, pompous, paunch worthy, balding father of 2 acting oh so chummy! I have been addressed by a despised nickname that I tolerated only from A and am being most courteously asked if I mind having a relationship with him. Under the severe duress of getting bells every 5 minutes, I finally picked up the call to tell the ‘gentleman’ that our relationship falls under the category of very vague acquaintances and that in itself is MORE than enough… Does he get the hint? NO!

So far today, I have counted 26 attempts at him trying to call me in addition to the 15 sms that he’s sent which range from obscene to obscener to obscenest attempts at making jokes! What is it about men by the way thinking it’s easier to get through to a woman by sending rather blatantly sexual jokes? Is it attractive to be told that smart men and shoelaces are common in that they keep in touch with…. Never mind! Touchwood the phone has been silent for the last two hours but I’d rather look for a more permanent solution to the problem in the form of a new number! And then switching banks!

In other news, my research paper remains unwritten while my inbox plays out the opening serenades of reminders from university about the paper due at 9am on January 5th. Why is it so hard for me to sit in front of the computer and actually start writing the damn thing? I keep remembering a fairy tale about the Shoemaker’s Elves and wishing I had paper writing elves that could work for me…

To top this brilliant situation, I also faced the sinking feeling of losing half my life on discovering this morning that my wallet that contains my bank cards, license, I.D., various other essential doo-dahs was missing. After getting the ear bashing of my life from mama dearest, left the house early to go looking since in the 6000 places that I ran errands in yesterday, the bank was the only place I was in a real hurry to get out of. Thank God for having an ex-student working at the bank who discovered my wallet (I was cheap enough when I bought it to have it personalized) on the cash counter and kept it for safe keeping. Brilliant as I am, the only thing I did not have in the wallet were my visiting cards. Even more brilliant, the bank records do not have any contact details listed for me. Although when I think of it, it’s mercy. Imagine that perverted moron with access to my address! Anyhow, my quest shall now be focused on the attainment of two things:

  • A new cell number!
  • A new bank!
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