Archive for September 29th, 2007


The World in a Chocolate Induced Haze

*Ping* *Bling* and *Ding*

These are the wonderful sounds my mature little heart makes at the wondrous advent of a new crush to stalk. Given my horrendously awful luck at managing crushes and men in the real world, am reverting to the teen stylings of having your heart stop and then pitter patter or does it go boom boom at an alarming rate when your favourite singer or movie star came on screen. (Oh stop it with the grow up and so mature looks! You still do it too!)

And what I’m about to share with you is absolutely critical in its importance. It is ‘Crush – Revisited’ and I am not talking about my neighbour. Will you please grow up! After reading what men in the real world are like on so many blogs and having seen some sterling examples of errr- manhood in my own life with my own two eyes, this option is so much safer… I can drool all I want, dream mushy nonsense, listen to his voice humming sweet nothings in my ear and best of all having the option to turn him off when it gets old…

So anyway, this takes me back a good ten years if not more… I remember reminiscing about Take That and the combined affect of twelve music and boy crazy girls dancing in a room to their music. For complete non-music-iers, think back to where you first saw Robbie Williams. You should get something and if not, google it! And if you’re snobs who were born listening to music reinvented rather than boy bands, you’re lying through your teeth but that’s your issue…

As I was saying, back in those days while my friends picked Robbie for being oh so cute, I found myself looking for Gary Barlow, whose main claim to fame was his absolute inability to dance, his tendency to look a little lumpy and his to die for lyrics that bordered on sappy… (Hmmmm, I wonder if it was just a case of kindred spirits????) It was probably his voice on ‘Back for Good’ and ‘A Million Love songs’ that would force me into that countenance of sitting with my arms around a pillow, head cocked to a side just letting the words wash over me.

And then of course, the band split up and my friends and I shared heart felt sighs of griefs, kissed the covers of the cassettes and moved onto other things. There was always the occasional drift like when Gary Barlow came out with his solo album and I fell with a thud! Irrevocably for sure! (I saw that look too!) But it was one song that has stayed with me in the time since then, and every time I hear it, I melt into a puddle of goo or kind of want to, anyway. It is mushiness at its absolute worth, the proverbial clichéd warbling of a boy so in love with a girl, it makes you sick but what a way to go….

What caused the revival, I don’t really know. I think it was just another countdown on just another music channel going over the top boy bands ever, and Take That was number 3 with a song that I hadn’t heard before. And there he was, looking older, still chubbier but the voice was the same and if I discount my growing up over the last ten years, he’s not bad at all… So here I’m thinking, how did that happen??? So armed with what I didn’t have ten years ago, Google and a night free internet account, I searched and came up with the news that there was a reunion of sorts and they had an album too or was that two. Khair, with the gracious help of e-mule, esnips and all these other pirating websites, I’m pretty sure I have most of the songs and some videos too…

*Sigh* And this is the max of troubles that crushes can cause. The hassle of finding out all the what ifs and hows of the ‘private’ lives of our favourite celebs. But thanks to the internet and the brilliance of a mind screwed and hell bent on getting the wrong kind of action, everything is now a few clicks away. And all one needs to do is to organize the latest proof of their psychological stability into accessible folders and you are set till you start seeing the wrinkles beneath the cake of make up, the plasticity of the expression, the utter poppycock that is the gist of what they have to say and of course the dawning realization that babe, for you this is the extent of their reality. And then, you move on. The folders are formatted, and a new search ensues for that look that will make your heart wander or for that voice that’ll pull you away from the troubles of your world.

Compared to what I’ve seen and heard in real life, I’d rather deal with this. One of my friends commented on my juvenile state of mind by telling me whether I knew that he was happily married and had kids too. What she was hoping to get from that, I’m not sure… What she did get was a blasé comment from me along the lines of so what else is new? I mean lets face it. When we were young, and our hair did not have split ends, we knew that the good ones were all married. That fact has not changed and is not liable to either. Besides, not like I’m looking to get married. What was it that I read on facebook today? “Single women cannot fart! Women get an ass hole when they get married…” Or something like that…

Can anybody else tell I’ve had chocolate today? The family went out for Iftar today and my li’l bro, being a total dah-ling treated me at The Gelatto Affair afterwards to the inexplicable joy of feeling lush, smooth, sinfully rich, dark chocolate melting in my mouth, spoon for glorious spoon… My nose is still tingling with the aroma of warm, sensual caramel that the coffee accompaniment was laced with… I am probably the closest to my personal idea of bliss right here… All I need to truly make me happy, is if I could find a chocolateer willing to fashion me a Gary Barlow for my own personal indulgence…

If I could have a Gary Barlow fashioned in chocolate, I think I would probably be the happiest woman in the world…

September 2007